Kdtyjb

As title. Just been told we are being laid off, and asked to keep it confidential from anyone outside this room.

They sent us home "to absorb the news".

Is it really the case that we cannot tell partners/spouses and have to keep it to ourselves?

When can I tell my partner? or I have to get clearance to tell?

My partner is at home so I can't turn up late with this.

You're not in the army, in prison or at school - you can tell whoever you like. What are they going to do if you do ?

I would be astonished to find a jurisdiction that did not allow you to tell your partner. Many places, your partner cannot even be compelled to testify against you, so unless your partner passed the information along, nobody would ever know. That said, in telling your partner, you do become responsible for whomever they tell, if you're in a jurisdiction that provides a reason for you to not tell whomever you want.

In any event, you can at least tell your partner that you need to find a new job, along with any headhunters, recruiters, or potential employers. There's nothing that says you'd need to explain. If pressed, you could always say, "I can't keep working there. I can't talk about it."

In a situation where you're asked to do something uncanny, like be silent about getting laid off, it might be helpful to reflect on why they're asking you to do that. Instead of just obeying and then resenting it, consider their point of view and then use your own discretion to do what you feel is right.

As you know lay-offs are an enormously stressful event and people respond differently to stress. Of course they want to avoid a panic-response and hard-feelings among the other workers. There's a need to control the roll-out of the message and in some orgs an "all-hands meeting" isn't practical, so yeah, they're going to tell the impacted people first and then everyone else.

There are other concerns as well: clients, contracts, vendors, and the market. A layoff, obviously, can be interpreted as a bad sign. For large lay-offs, there's usually a well-crafted press release explaining the situation. Telling the impacted people first is a honorable thing to do. You wouldn't want to read the press release and then wonder if you're going to be laid off or not. By asking the laid-off people to be "silent" they're controlling the roll-out of the message to the industry/public and minimizing damage to the business -- and also doing the honorable thing by letting the laid-off people know first.

So, the best course of action is to be discreet about the lay-off. Of course tell your wife, family and trusted friends. And, if it isn't obvious, indicate that this is supposed to be "secret" for the time being.

The counter-question is always: "What they will do?"

So you tell your partner, and they find it out, and they are going to do what, exactly? Fire you? Sue you? For what?

The "don't tell anyone" basically means "we know this is going to be bad press, we want to control the damage and our PR department should manage the information flow."

It has nothing to do with your partner. In fact, if you were to bring up the question, I'm reasonably sure the person you ask would be surprised.

But even if for some reason beyond human understanding they would try to forbid you, on what grounds would they do that? Which clause of your working contract would you violate? Their general capability of giving you orders because you work there don't extend outside working hours. So it would have to be something more specific, like a trade secret (which it isn't) or other information protected by law (which it isn't).

In most jurisdictions, the family unit has a higher protection under the law than companies. Also, from a very practical position, having secrets from your partner is going to have more long-term adverse affects on you than not doing something that a company that you'll soon not be working for anymore wants you to do.

So, from all possible perspectives: Tell your partner, don't ask for permission to do so.

Only you know your specific circumstances, but I can offer an example of a situation similar to yours.

I have been laid off in corporate restructurings 5 times in my 20 years (I work in a technology field, so this is common). In one case, the HR person asked me not to discuss my layoff with others at the company while I was still permitted to be in the building. Her hope was that I would collect my things discreetly and leave. I considered her request to be reasonable and I left. I even offered to return to the company at a later time to collect my personal things when folks were not expected to be in the office and she agreed to help do this. I think we both were able to make the best out of a bad situation.

Layoffs are tough, yet if you are asked to behave in odd ways by the people letting you, you can every obligation to clarify their expectations and to act professionally.

Of cause, your co-workers need to know that you are leaving the company and that they need to plan accordingly. If they didn't know they would just notice that you do not show up anymore and would not have an explanation of the reason and the duration.

You will need to tell that you have been laid off to recruiters why hunting for a new job. And – depending on your jurisdiction – you might have the obligation to register yourself as jobless to receive unemployment benefits.

And of cause, your partner needs to know!

This is an unusual request and IMHO doesn't make much sense to keep the fact confidential that you have been laid off. What might make sense would be if they asked you to keep the reason for being laid off confidential. Or if they asked you to not immediately inform your co-workers, because they want to tell this information.

If I was laid off and either the company offered me something in exchange nor the reason for being laid off is confidential on itself (for example because of my contract), I would not keep this information confidential. I would talk to my co-workers before I leave, explaining the situation. The people you worked closely together deserve to know the facts and that you have the chance to say good-bye. And of cause, I would tell my partner immediately.